Neville the Chamberlain
by elecktrum
Summary: The adventure of a less-than-bright Hyena, his sword-happy Mouse friend, and a sarcastic Opossum, set against a court without a chamberlain and a High King in hot water with his family.
1. 32 Lenisgale, 1002

**Neville the Chamberlain**

by elecktrum

Disclaimer: Narnia and its characters are the property of CS Lewis, Walden Media, and Disney. I'm just borrowing them and I promise to give them back when I'm done. Until the next story waylays me, of course.

I beg your indulgence with this story as it's something totally different from anything I've tried before! Updates will probably be slow, but I hope you enjoy it! All puns are intentional. Many thanks to my wonderful and highly talented beta readers!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

32 Lenisgale, 1002

Dearest Mum,

It's Neville. Your son. I promised I'd write and tell you about my new position when I got one. Well, here I am and you'll be happy to read that I got not just one, but two new jobs my first month here at Cair Paravel. Oh, and I'm not actually writing this myself if you can't tell. I'm dictating it to one of the scribes in training because you can see that he really needs the practice. He says he's an Opossum, but since I never saw one before I have to take his word that he knows what kind of Animal he is better than I do, because I don't. Anyway, I hope you can read his writing. His name is Bizzy, by the way. _-No, it's not, my name is Bizmy!_ _And I'm a girl! _  
_  
_I arrived at Cair Paravel on 28 Snowbrice in the middle of a storm. I got lost in a maze that turned out to be the formal gardens. I didn't escape until morning, when a very kind lady Cat named Mrs. Tibs found me. She got me out of the hedges where I was stuck, cleaned me up, and gave me something to eat that tasted like a chicken but had no bones, so I wasn't sure. She loaned me some of her kittens to guide me to the palace gates and they all rode on my back. They thought I was a Dog, which made me laugh, which made them laugh, which made me laugh more. It's strange they never heard of Striped Hyenas before (or any other kind, as it turns out, not even a spotted one), but then I never heard of Opossums.

The front gates at Cair Paravel are very big - big enough for a Giant, they say, and very grand compared to our cave. The kittens steered me to a very wise-looking Okapi who seemed to be in charge of the crowd. _- You recognize an Okapi but not an Opossum? - _He gave me an odd look and I supposed I must have looked silly with kittens all over me, which set me off laughing so hard I could barely introduce myself, which made the kittens laugh again. I told him I wanted to work at the palace and he directed me to some other people waiting in a group. I said goodbye to the kittens and they asked me back to their house sometime soon for tea. Even though they live in a maze, I think I can find it again. _– I don't. Madam, how could you let this idiot out of your sight? He's a danger to himself and others._

There was a Faun in armor talking to the group and it turns out they needed more guards for the palace, so I asked to join on the spot. There was a Mouse next to me that also asked to join, and to prove his worth he whipped out a sword that was like an overgrown pin and waved it around madly, squeaking a war cry that hurt my ears. He managed to slice off all the hair along my left foreleg and about half from my belly before the Faun could get him to stop. The Mouse was heartily embarrassed at the pile of hair beside me and so was I to be partially bald, but the Faun, Captain Celer, said he was impressed by my cool reaction (but that was only because I never got a chance to run away or take cover, it happened so fast) and the Mouse's aim because there wasn't a cut on me. The captain took our names and told us to report directly to the training grounds, then asked a Skua to guide us there.

The Mouse's name is Skeepomeep, but he said I could call him Meep. I told him my name was Neville and that I didn't know anything else he could call me. _– Send him to me. I can give him some fitting titles. - _We decided then and there to be friends, so not only did I get two jobs, but I made friends with some kittens and a Mouse. I was so happy that I laughed all the way to the training grounds. Meep laughed with me until he was too tired to go on. _- Wonderful. A matched pair._

At the training grounds a Centaur captain the size of two Centaurs told us to line up with a few other likely recruits. His name was Captain Kanell. I'm not sure, but I think his first name is Sir, which seems to me an odd name, but that's what everyone calls him and so I do, too, except when I call him Captain. Perhaps Centaurs are like Horses with long names that they keep adding on to.

He spoke a lot about what was expected of palace guards and how we would have a whole year's worth of training before we were actually considered part of the guard. He split us into groups for now and I was very happy to be with Meep. We were told not to bother the kings and queens, keep out of the way, keep quiet, and to pay attention to what the guards did so that we could learn. _- Good luck._

Our first task was to be assigned living space and a training schedule and all sorts of duties to keep us busy for days. Eventually we would get armor, which made Meep so happy he tried to pull out his sword again to celebrate. I think waving weapons and bouncing about and squeaking must be how Mice celebrate things. Luckily Kanell stopped him from shaving my right side bare.

I learned something important, too – it seems most of the people in Cair Paravel, except maybe Mrs. Tibs' kittens and Meep, don't have very good senses of humor. I started laughing when Meep tried to celebrate getting armor and Kanell frowned at me so hard I could almost feel it. I thought about explaining the joke, but he had said to be quiet and I suppose that includes laughing as well as talking. Besides, I don't think he would have gotten the joke. Like Uncle Wilt always said, a joke explained is a joke ruined.

I have to go, Mum, but I'll send another letter soon since Bizzy needs the practice. _- I need no such thing! - _Then I'll be able to tell you more about my job and Meep and what it's like to train as a guard. _- I can scarcely wait. - _Give my love to Da and Choonie and Swoosie and the twins and Bith and Otzo and Richard and everyone else I can't think of right now.

Love,

Neville (Your son).


	2. 6 Quickening, 1002

6 Quickening, 1002

Dearest Mum,

It's me again, your son Neville. Bizzy is being kind enough to write this for me again and I hope you could read his writing in my last letter because he doesn't seem to have improved much in this one. I was introduced to another Talking Animal just like him named Bizmy, only she was a girl, so I suppose Opossums really are real. _- That was **me**! - _It's been a while, but some very interesting things happened since my last letter, so I'll tell you about them.

I think I'm going to like being a guard very well. There's lots of food (I'm the only one in the barracks besides a Wolverine that likes to eat the chicken bones, so there's plenty for us both) and Meep got me to try some cheese. I don't know if I like it, so I'll keep trying until I'm sure, but I did try something called an apple tart that was very tasty, and I learned that Mice shouldn't be allowed to drink beer before we have to go to sleep. I have a comfortable bed and some very good officers and good friends plus Bizzy to write for me, so I think living at Cair Paravel and guarding it will be a good life for me.

Kanell assigned me and Meep to the officers that protect Queen Susan. According to him everyone that guards the royal family starts out guarding the queens because the kings get into so much trouble they need the most experienced people watching over them to make sure they don't do anything rash or get magicked or attacked or wander close to still waters. I was very excited because I've never seen a Human before and Meep was excited because we were given some responsibility, which I suppose is a good thing. _-Aslan preserve us and our good queen._

I was very surprised when I first saw the kings and queens because they were much smaller than I expected. The queens smelled like flowers and the kings both smelled like sausages because they had just finished breakfast and now were walking to their classes. That surprised me because I thought kings and queens would know everything._ – Why am I not surprised? _- But they don't, at least not yet.

They all walked like the Dryads that live in the grove across the river from our cave, on two feet, and the queens wore long gowns like the Dryads do, only brighter. They didn't have hooves or paws, but both kings wore boots. I suppose if you stretched a young Dwarf out to be twice their height and took off the beard and the scowl and made them laugh, you'd have an idea of what the kings look like. I don't suppose that's a good comparison _– You suppose correctly –_ but they're more like Dwarfs than they're like Meep or any of our Mongoose cousins.

Queen Susan and King Edmund both have very dark hair like our stripes and Queen Lucy's hair looks like a red fox and King Peter, who's the largest of them but still not very large, has yellow hair like thatch (I mean the color, I don't think his hair is made of grass).

Even though they all seemed very nice, the younger king and queens were miffed at King Peter and they were yelling at him, which surprised me because I didn't think anyone would yell at a king, but I suppose kings and queens and Humans can all yell at each other if they want. I listened in because Captain Kanell told me to pay attention and listen. They were mad because King Peter had given the Chamberlain of the Court, Sir Giles Fox, a month's leave to visit his wife's family in the swamps by the Southern Marches and he hadn't thought to find someone to take over the chamberlain's duties. I even remember what they said, so I'll tell you. - _Eavesdropper! _

'Peter,' King Edmund said, and I suppose it's normal for a king not to call a king 'king' all the time, 'exactly who is going to take over while Sir Giles is gone?'

I think King Peter must have been embarrassed or possibly sick from so many sausages, because his face turned reddish and he said, 'I'll find someone, Ed. How hard can it be?'

'It's _you_, Peter,' King Edmund said back, and he shook his head. 'How easy can it be?'

That must have been a joke, because Queen Lucy giggled and Queen Susan hid a smile. I had to fight to keep from laughing, too, because Queen Lucy has a laugh like Auntie Swindie where she makes you want to laugh along with her. King Peter made a face I couldn't figure out. Maybe Meep can read Human expressions better than me, but I think the High King was annoyed. Very annoyed. I suppose they didn't think he could find a replacement for Sir Giles. I don't know exactly what a Chamberlain of the Court does, but any job with such a long title must be important. Since this _is_ the High King I have to wonder how hard it will be for him to find someone to do the job just as well.

'I will find us a temporary chamberlain,' King Peter promised, sounding very determined.

'Where will you look?' asked Queen Susan.

King Peter sighed and said, 'I have no idea.'

The other king and queens shook their heads and sighed even louder, and I think that just annoyed King Peter. He put his hands on his hips and said again, 'I _will_ find us a temporary chamberlain.'

'It's what you'll find that frightens me,' King Edmund said, and the conversation ended in a hearty glare from King Peter.

I must leave off here, Mum. I have to get down to the training grounds and train. We do that every day. Meep sends his regards. _– As do I, O most patient of ladies. _

Love from your son,

Neville


	3. 9 Quickening, 1002

9 Quickening, 1002

Dear Mum,

It's your son, Neville. It's Seventhday today, which means that unless it's a very important occasion, there is no court held because the kings and queens need a day off to rest after spending all week learning things. I heard Captain Celer say that he _wished_ the kings would take a day off and that their personal guards live in dread of Seventhday because the kings never stop moving unless they're playing chess.

We recruits were given the day off, too, after our morning drill. I'm getting very good at drilling because I don't get bored with standing still. Meep has more trouble with it because he likes to wave his sword and run around and shout. Captain Celer told me to keep Meep out of trouble and Captain Kanell told Meep to keep me out of trouble, so I think between the two of us we should be safe. _– Aslan have mercy. _– Meep and I have been assigned to follow around a more experienced guard in Queen Susan's service named Merina. She's a Sheep. You might think a Sheep wouldn't make a very good guard, Mum, because I didn't until I saw her fight during training. All I can say is that I would not want to hurt anything she's defending because I think she'd stomp me and anyone with me flat. _– I shan't touch that._

I'm waiting for Meep to get back from the kitchens, so I went to find Bizzy and send you another letter. I hope you can read his _– her –_ writing. It doesn't look as if he's _– she's –_ improving very much. Maybe I should send longer letters_. – Or perhaps write them yourself?_

I want to tell you more about how I got my second job here at Cair Paravel. I seem to be taking a long time about it. _- Indeed. -_ On Fourthday following the news of my last letter, which would be 11 Lenisgale, King Peter found a chamberlain! And not just any ordinary chamberlain, but he appointed a bird called a Laughing Kookaburra named Miss Shavinalla to take over for Sir Giles Fox. I was very excited because I thought for sure she must be very witty to be a _Laughing_ Kookaburra. We're Striped Hyenas, after all, so we're all stripy. A Laughing Kookaburra must be very funny. I wonder if there are Crying Kookaburras. I've never heard if there are. _–Nor yet of Opossums, may I remind you?_

I asked Merina what a chamberlain does and she said they announce visitors and make sure that everyone that needs to gets a chance to see the kings and queens. She said they also make sure that no one takes up too much time since there are a lot of people that have business at Cair Paravel, so the chamberlain has to be clever and polite. I don't suppose it sounded like a very hard job, but as Uncle Wilt says, sounding and being are two different things.

So we were in the throne room while the kings and queens were holding court and conducting business when Miss Shavinalla began with the day's business. She was on a perch brought in especially for her just to the side if the dais. Her voice was very loud for such a small bird, and she seemed quite grave and not laughing at all. King Peter seemed very relieved and things went swimmingly for a while until three Birds representing three flocks from Pillar Wood came to settle a dispute over winter berry rights to a patch of raspberries they all claimed was theirs. The birds were very cross and excited and I'm sorry to say Miss Shavinalla took sides with the Blue Jay representative. As they presented their arguments she raised her voice and now I know what they mean by _Laughing_ Kookaburra.

Miss Shavinalla started in arguing before she broke into a very loud, varied song that sounded very much like the way Grandpapa used to laugh after he got hit by lightning that second time_. – Much is made clear by that. -_ It started out like high-pitched hiccups (which made me giggle) then worked its way to a chuckle and then a strange laugh. On and on she went, getting louder and louder as she threw her head back and became very serious about making the longest, loudest racket you ever did hear. She drowned out the other Birds. She drowned out the noise of the court. Her voice echoed off the stone walls until it sounded as if there were three or four of her all making a crazed laughing sound.

King Peter looked horrified. I don't suppose he'd ever heard a Laughing Kookaburra laugh before, either. He didn't find it at all funny, but I did. Queen Lucy had her hands over her ears and King Edmund and Queen Susan were glaring at the High King. King Edmund tried to say something but his voice wasn't loud enough to be heard. King Peter was busy turning a very bright shade of red. He tried to speak but there was no hearing him. Miss Shavinalla seemed to have forgotten she was a chamberlain and the Birds' case about winter berry rights. All she wanted to do was laugh.

King Peter stood, looking angry, and said something no one could hear. There was a moment of silence as Miss Shavinalla drew a quick breath, but before the High King could get a word in, she was off again. I didn't think it was possible for King Peter to turn redder, but he managed it. Finally he stomped over to the perch and clamped Miss Shavinalla's beak closed between two fingers.

The quiet was immediate and complete except for the fact that I was laughing. Meep poked me and when I looked up the High King was looking at _me_ and he did not seem very happy even though it was almost quiet now. I shut my mouth but I was still laughing inside and Meep thought I was coughing so he whacked me on the back. That seemed to make the High King a bit happier and still holding Miss Shavinalla's beak he ordered,

_'Silence!'_

Nobody dared make a sound. King Peter let Miss Shavinalla go and said, 'Your services will no longer be required.' Then, still very red and cross, he waved a hand at the court and said, 'Dismissed!' before stomping out of the throne room. We guards waited for Queen Susan and she looked annoyed and repeated, 'Yes, dismissed,' before hurrying after her brother. Queen Lucy and King Edmund both rolled their eyes and followed. In the hall behind the throne room, the kings and queens all stood together and bickered.

"Oh, well done, Peter," said King Edmund sarcastically. 'Excellent choice.'

King Peter was still flushed and embarrassed. "She didn't do that when I interviewed her yesterday," he muttered.

'Well, we still have an opening for chamberlain,' Susan reminded in a tone of voice that seemed to say she held him responsible for the ruckus that just happened. 'Or a new opening, actually.'

'Then why don't you find one, Su?' King Peter invited tightly.

I think she thought that perhaps she had overstepped herself by speaking to him that way, because Queen Susan stood very tall (as tall as King Peter, it seemed) and said, 'Fine. I will. You'll excuse me.'

We followed her around all the rest of the day but I'm not sure how she was solving the problem of another chamberlain because she just wrote a lot of notes and kept a lot of Hummingbird and Cat couriers busy. We guards were relieved just before tea, so I didn't know what happened with her quest to find a chamberlain until the next afternoon when we all stood in the throne room again. I noticed Queen Susan wasn't looking entirely confident, but word had it that she had found a chamberlain. We waited for the session to be opened by this new chamberlain, the monarchs and the courtiers and the guards and guests and people with complaints and an ambassador from Somm.

And we waited.

And waited.

And . . . waited.

From where I stood I saw the kings give each other a puzzled look and then they and Queen Lucy all looked at Queen Susan. She was sitting very stiffly and she was starting to turn red just like King Peter had the day before.

It was then that I noticed a new sort of perch had been set up where Miss Shavinalla's perch had stood the day before. This one was much lower and had a rope slung between two poles. There was some kind of hairy, brownish-gray mat hanging on the rope. It looked like something very hairy that had been in the water too long and it hung like a sack - a wet sack. I could not imagine what it was or why something so stringy would be hanging here in the throne room.

We did some more waiting and people were starting to murmur when Queen Susan stood. She cleared her throat and said, 'Good cousins, honored guests, allow me to introduce our acting chamberlain: Paul.'

She gestured to the side and I realized she meant the hairy hanging mat. I looked at Meep and he looked at me and we both stared. It took me a minute or more to realize there was a head attached to the mat and really, if I hadn't seen what must be eyes blinking once or twice, I never would have believed it was really an Animal. _- I know the sensation._

'What is that?' Meep asked Merina.

'A Sloth,' she said quietly, and I was amazed.

Queen Susan gave Paul a very pointed look, as if to tell him to do something. Paul hung just upside down on his perch and stared back at her and then very, very slowly turned his head to look at the court. The kings looked tense, waiting to get to business, and Queen Lucy just stared in quiet astonishment along with everyone else.

'You may commence with today's business,' Queen Susan hinted.

I felt a giggle well up when I saw King Peter's face because I think he was rather enjoying the moment after his family was so cross with him yesterday. Minutes dragged by. The Sloth took a deep breath. He looked about to speak. Everyone leaned in and perked up their ears to catch his words, but he just let his breath out and closed his eyes without saying anything. He concentrated very hard and shifted his strange clawed feet a bit. That seemed to exhaust him and he went back to hanging. The court went back to waiting and I kept trying not to make too much noise as I laughed.

Queen Susan sat down on her throne, her cheeks bright red. King Edmund leaned over towards King Peter and I heard him ask in a whisper, 'Is he asleep?'

'I can't tell,' King Peter said.

'Could he be dead?'

'Possibly.'

That did me in completely and I hung my head and barked a laugh. Merina stomped on my paw. King Peter glared my way, but he seemed to have lost all patience with Paul. He was about to speak when Queen Susan hastily, desperately said, 'Perhaps the ambassador from Somm could introduce himself . . .'

'Perhaps _I_ might find an adequate chamberlain,' King Edmund said through clenched teeth.

'Be my guest,' invited Queen Susan sweetly.

Queen Lucy giggled. I joined her. King Peter just shook his head. I don't think the kings and queens got much done that day.

Meep is back from the kitchens. He went to get an apple tart because we're going to go have tea with Mrs. Tibs and her kittens. It's very windy today, so it's a good day for tea and kittens. I think I'll ask Bizzy to come, too. Oh. I suppose I just did. I think he _- she -_ needs a break from writing. _- Indeed and I am grateful. -_ He's - _she's _- nodding, so I'll finish here and tell you about King Edmund's chamberlain in the next letter. Give my love to Da and everyone else.

Love,

Neville (your son)


	4. 13 Quickening, 1002

_Thanks to Mists, this turned out rather differently than originally planned . . ._

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

13 Quickening, 1002

Dear Mum,

It's your son, Neville. I hadn't intended to write until tomorrow, but Bizzy tracked me down and asked if I wanted to send another letter. I suppose he –_ she_ – needs the practice. _– No, I just want to know what happened next. _We had a very nice time with Mrs. Tibs and her kittens and she made me tea the way you do, with chicken broth instead of water. The kittens thought that was very strange and funny - _as did I_ - so we laughed a lot and they tried my tea and didn't like it.

King Edmund, as it turned out, had almost two whole days to find a chamberlain because the Sloth, Paul, held his title for Fifthday and there was no court business on Sixthday or Seventhday. He said he had the position filled by the end of Fifthday, but I'm thinking maybe he should have taken more time. He was very smug and pleased with himself at breakfast on Firstday (sausage again – it's delicious here, Mum, much better than Auntie Frey's notion of what it should taste like. The cooks use these things called recipes so food always tastes the same). The queens teased him and tried to find out who he'd appointed, but King Edmund wouldn't say. He just told them they'd have to wait and be amazed.

'Oh, I'll be amazed,' was all King Peter said, and where I stood out in the hall, I laughed along with Queen Lucy at his tone of voice.

I've learned that Firstdays tend to be the busiest days here in Cair Paravel unless there's a celebration going on, in which case they're either much busier or not busy at all. With all the people Paul never got to (which was all of them) left over from last week, court promised to be very busy.

King Edmund had appointed a sleek little grayish-brown Animal that Merina said was a Giant Mouse Lemur. Meep was very curious about anything called a Giant Mouse and finally I let him climb onto my back to get a good look. He didn't think the Lemur looked anything like a Mouse and neither did I – the legs were too long and the tail was far too fuzzy for his satisfaction – but Meep thought they might be a distant cousins (like us and the Mongooses across the river) and he took him to heart. I think he wanted to go talk to the Giant Mouse because Meep is always talking, but he didn't get the chance.

The new chamberlain's name, it turned out, was Mirza Zaza, which might seem strange but it suited him, and he was very smart. It seemed King Peter _was_ amazed, because Mirza kept things moving smoothly for almost an hour, though he yawned an awful lot. King Edmund was looking pleased and so were the queens. I think they were happy to be getting something done.

It didn't last for long.

They spent a bit longer than usual discussing trade with Somm, which is part of Archenland, when I noticed that Mirza had curled into a fuzzy ball atop his paperwork. The kings and queens finished with the Archenlanders and were waiting for the next bit of business to be announced when the court recorder gave Mirza a little poke with her quill. His head jerked up and he stammered an apology and managed to yawn out the next bit of business: some cherry Dryads from the Dancing Lawn asking for help with their harvest when their fruit came into season. Mirza was fast asleep before Queen Lucy promised to assemble enough people to help with the harvest. Another poke and Mirza sleepily called for the ambassador from Somm again before he realized his mistake and announced a representative from the Blue River Smithy before settling down again. The High King and the queens looked over at King Edmund and he blushed red and clenched his jaw and refused to look back at them as King Peter softly whispered,

'Amazing.'

King Edmund put his head back with a thunk! I think it must have hurt because the four thrones were carved out of stone and no matter how soft the stone it still hurts to bang your head on it. _– The voice of experience?_ - He didn't seem to mind the pain because he smacked his head again and he groaned,

'I forgot they're nocturnal.'

A stocky Black Dwarf stomped in and glared all around before reading a rude letter to King Edmund (whom the writer called 'Spawn') saying that if he wanted his candelabra then he could bloody well come fetch them himself and to bring some wine when he did. Rather than being insulted, King Edmund looked a little uneasy and told the Dwarf he wasn't the least surprised transporting a candlestick was beyond them and that they'd talk later if the Dwarf managed to work himself into a better mood, if possible. _– Somehow I doubt that._

I didn't realize it then, but looking back I think King Edmund was trying very hard to get rid of the Dwarf because by now Mirza Zaza wasn't just fast asleep, he had rolled onto his back with his feet in the air and his tail curled up on his belly and he was snoring, and rather loudly for his size, too. I coughed a laugh. The Dwarf glanced my way and in doing so, he noticed the Lemur. Mirza twitched and started to drool.

I'm not sure which was worse for King Edmund – his family's or the Black Dwarf's reaction to his amazing chamberlain, who was pawing the air and muttering in his sleep, which made me think of Meep. The king no longer blushed like his brother and sister had. Rather, he turned quite pale, which I suppose is an accomplishment because he was already very pale and thin. The Dwarf smiled as if Father Christmas had come early. King Edmund glared a most awful glare at the Dwarf as he turned back and, happier than any Black Dwarf that I've ever seen, asked,

'Spot of trouble with your chamberlain, Nancy?'

'What?' wondered King Peter, plainly confused.

'_NO!'_ King Edmund snapped before the Dwarf could explain. The king actually stood, his eyes blazing and somehow I think there was a lot more happening than anyone but these two knew. He pointed angrily at the far doors. "Out, Brint. _NOW!_'

The Dwarf was enjoying the confrontation too well. He folded his arms. 'I'm a free Narnian. I think I'll stay and observe our government in action.'

There was a long moment of silence broken only by Mirza Zaza's snores and me trying not to laugh out loud.

'Then court,' hissed King Edmund as Mirza muttered in his sleep, 'is dismissed.'

He stormed out past his snoring chamberlain and the happy Dwarf. Over on the dais, the rest of the royal family sat and stared. The queens looked at the remaining king and he blinked and shook his head, no wiser than they. He stood and gestured helplessly.

'Dismissed.'

Meep and I followed Queen Susan to the hall behind the throne room where King Peter and Queen Lucy were trying to figure out what had just happened beyond King Edmund getting riled and leaving.

'Even with that little outburst I'd still say Ed's in the lead,' the High King said.

'Was_ that_ Dwarfish diplomacy, perhaps?' Queen Susan suggested uncertainly.

I laughed at the notion, earning yet another glare from the High King. I put my ears down and tried to be the same size as Meep.

'I suppose it's my turn,' chimed Queen Lucy. 'Oh, I wish Mr. Tumnus was here!'

'So do I,' sighed King Peter, still confused. 'And who is Nancy?'

I don't think Sir Giles Fox will ever be allowed on vacation again. And now Bizzy is laughing too hard to write, so I'll finish this. Don't tell Auntie Frey she needs to add a recipe to her sausages, please.

Love,

Your son Neville


	5. 18 Quickening, 1002

_I must thank Thalion King's Daughter for the loan of Peridan and his plans to relocate to Narnia from Archenland!_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

18 Quickening, 1002

Dear Mum,

It's Neville again. Bizzy has a bit of a cold, but when I went to visit him, - _her_ - he -_ she_ - asked if I wanted to send another letter to you. I think he's - _she's_ - bored with being in bed. - _A brilliant deduction_.

Meep and I are learning how to fight, which is interesting and fun. Meep has his sword back now and since he hasn't really hurt anyone yet I think he's very good. We Hyenas can't really use weapons like the Fauns and Dwarfs can. Captain Celer said that I'll be thrown to the Wolves to train with them even though I told him I wasn't any kind of canine. He said that since I'm very similar to Wolves and Dogs in build that I can learn the basics from them until they decide how best to use my Hyena strengths in combat. I didn't know I had those kinds of strengths, so I was very impressed. I don't think there have been many Hyenas in the palace guard in the past, but then there aren't very many of us in Narnia.

There is a pack of Wolves here at Cair Paravel from somewhere far to the south by Glasswater. Their family name is Ravenwolf, which suits them since they're all black, and everyone just calls them the Five Sons of Ravenwolf even though one of them is girl. - _Fancy that! -_ The oldest son (not the girl), Arthur, has taken over my training for now. He's a poet on top of being in the army and Meep and I were in the barracks when he read some of his poems to the soldiers. They were very good and maybe when Bizzy is better he - _she_ - can copy a few of them for you. - _How could I refuse the works of a poetic Wolf?_ _Now will you get on with your story?_

You might be wondering about Queen Lucy's chamberlain, Mum. - _Finally! _- Well, she didn't find one but_ two_, which was surprising. The day after King Edmund stormed out of court I was in the hall with Meep and Merina waiting for the royal family to finish breakfast so we could escort them to their music lesson. They were eating ham that morning, and I knew it was delicious because I had eaten a ham bone for breakfast myself. (Meep is still amazed that I can eat bones). When Queen Lucy told them that she had found two chamberlains, Queen Susan was impressed and King Edmund was suspicious and King Peter's mouth was so full of muffin that I don't know how he felt about it.

'Two? How did you find _two_ people that want to be chamberlain?' demanded King Edmund. I think he was a little jealous, too.

'They asked me,' Queen Lucy said. 'Is that so strange, Edmund?'

'Yes. If you'll notice, no one of sense, character, and capability has stepped into the role.'

King Peter and Queen Susan both made little noises of agreement (rather guilty noises, too) and Queen Lucy said defiantly, 'Well maybe you didn't ask them nicely.'

'So . . ." King Peter tried hard to sound unconcerned. 'Who is our chamberlain today?'

Queen Lucy refused to budge. 'You'll find out now, won't you?'

'That's what we live in fear of, Lu,' muttered King Edmund. 'Pass the butter, please.'

Well, music and dance and singing lessons always seem to put King Edmund in a sour mood. I heard King Peter tease him saying if he hated them all so much he really shouldn't go and be so good at them all. I must say watching them learn to dance was fun and I wondered if Humans could possibly dance a _boreen _without having tails_. -Dancing Hyenas and poetic Wolves. This is turning into a good day. - _After lessons and lunch, we proceeded to court and I must say I was quite anxious to see if Queen Lucy's chamberlain could be quiet and speedy and stay awake long enough to make it through the session. He or she might even be able to tell me who Nancy is.

Court was crowded again and I wondered if the kings and queens would ever catch up at this point. I looked around for the Chamberlain and I was surprised when a nervous and slinky Border Collie trotted in and announced the first bit of business.

Her name was Bitsie and Meep whispered to me that she had a northern accent. I had no idea what an accent was no matter what direction it came from. She did talk a little strangely, though. She was colored like a shaggy calico Cat with the colors all mixed together (not stripy like us), though I don't think there's such a thing as a calico Collie. - _For once I agree._ - I thought there was something odd about her when I finally realized that Bitsie had one blue eye and one brown eye, which seemed very strange to me and made her head look lopsided. She had trouble keeping still and moved around constantly, even when she talked, and every little thing that happened made her twitch and jerk. Twice she almost bolted and she growled a lot. King Peter didn't look as if he was holding out too much hope for the day to be a success, but aside from being terribly jittery and strangely twitchy, Bitsie did a good job at calling out the first order of business.

That was until General Oreius entered the hall accompanied by two Rams from the Royal Guard named Chister and Peabody. I had only seen General Oreius a few times before, Mum, but he's a Centaur and a very good soldier and the head of the army. _– And he's very handsome, Mrs. Mum!_ - He's also a knight and a very close friend of the royal family. Merina broke ranks because she had a message for the general from Captain Kanell, but Meep whispered to me that she also had a crush on Peabody and she was only delivering it now to get his attention. I noticed that Bitsie stared hard at Merina as she made her way through the crowd of people towards the general. I thought Bitsie looked a little addled but maybe that was her mismatched eyes. She was so focused on Merina she missed the next bit of business and Minovin, the court recorder, whipped out a quill and poked Bitsie to get her attention and announce the general.

Well, Mum, that was the wrong thing to do. Bitsie jumped straight into the air and was barking madly before she hit the ground. With her head held low and taking mincing little steps, she dove right into the crowd and started to work through all the people, trying to cut Merina off as some crazed herding instinct took over. People screamed and scattered every which way as she wove her way towards the Sheep. Merina turned and faced Bitsie squarely. King Peter stood up and called for order, but at that moment Meep leaped to the middle of the floor to go to Merina's rescue.

I think he completely forgot that this particular lady didn't need rescuing, and I think she'd much rather have shown off in front of Peabody or at least have him rescue her. Either way, there was a great deal of confusion as some people tried to get out of the way and Meep tried to get into it. Bitsie tried to herd Sheep that weren't going to have any part of it, Meep was waving his sword wildly, and General Oreius was caught in the middle of all the wool and hooves and barking and yelling and swordplay. Somehow someone with feathers got involved because the air was suddenly full of down. Then Bitsie snapped at the General's hooves and he turned just as Meep was wildly flailing his sword around and squeaking, 'I'll save you!' at the top of his lungs. – _I must become a court recorder if this is what goes on all day! _

Mum, if Meep ever comes to visit our cave I think we're going to have to take his sword away. He has a talent for cutting hair and I want to keep what I've got.

There was a gasp and suddenly Meep was looking at the floor at his feet. There was a pile of very long, black hair right in front of him that used to be the end part of the general's tail. Meep's gasp seemed to bring everyone to their senses, even Bitsie, who tried to slink away. Meep made a sound like 'Meep!' and whipped the sword behind his back. General Oreius closed his eyes and heaved a long, long sigh. King Peter fell back on his throne and held his head. Queen Lucy bit her lower lip and looked very, very upset. I wheezed a laugh and without looking up King Peter pointed in my direction and commanded, 'Silence!' I choked and bit my tongue, but at least he didn't glare this time.

King Edmund gave a little moan. 'We're going to pay for that tomorrow, Peter.'

The High King just nodded ruefully.

Queen Lucy felt disgraced, but in sheer desperation they decided to go ahead with her second volunteer chamberlain after Bitsie was escorted out for a visit to the court physician. Less than an hour later the royal court at Cair Paravel tried again. None of the Pevensies looked particularly enthusiastic but there was so much business to attend to that they needed to press on. General Oreius' hair had been swept up and Meep's sword was now in Chister's possession and Merina was disappointed in love. I was Meep-less for the now because he was busy being in trouble.

The second volunteer chamberlain was strange-looking even after Bitsie the calico Border Collie. Sloughbit was very tall, very gray, and as gloomy as a rainy day. Even looking at him was depressing because he never smiled and nothing seemed to please him except a chance to be more dismal than he was a moment ago. I had never met a Marsh Wiggle before and I won't be sad if I never meet another. _–They're not all as bad as Sloughbit. He's depressing even by Marsh Wiggle standards. _

Queen Lucy looked dubious as Sloughbit grumbled, 'Let the record show that court has re-commenced on this sixteenth and very ill-omened day of Lenisgale with myself as the latest attempt to carry on the role of chamberlain even though I'm the last choice and so foolish as to volunteer. Doesn't bode well for the court, oh, no, not at all. Probably won't get thanked, either.'

I had never known there were any creatures in Narnia that could make a Black Dwarf look jolly, Mum, but by comparison to this Marsh Wiggle even the worst Black Dwarf was cuddly. His miserable attitude spread like a bad stink through the room until we were all equally glum.

'We have here two letters from Archenland, from the court of King Lune, addressed to Your Majesties,' rambled Sloughbit only slightly faster than the Sloth would have spoken had he said anything. 'One from a Lord Tran and the next from someone called Peridan. A declaration of war most like as not, I warrant.'

_- Glum and paranoid, Mrs. Mum. _

Queen Susan forced a smile. 'Pray read the first one to us, Chamberlain Sloughbit.'

'If you insist, Queen Susan, though I trust you're not one to blame the bearer of evil tidings or remove people from their heads for -'

'Read,' ordered King Edmund through clenched teeth.

He drew a deep breath. _'To Their Royal Majesties of Narnia, High King Peter, Queen Susan, King Edmund, and Queen Lucy, from Tran, Son of Colm, Lord in the court of King Lune at Anvard in Archenland, greeting_! Oh, greeting,' mumbled Sloughbit, scratching his cheek as he read over the letter. 'Most likely trying to lull you into a false sense of secure -'

'Lord Tran's letter,' Queen Susan reminded, glancing at her sister. Poor Queen Lucy looked thoroughly depressed and about to cry and I don't think anyone could blame her.

Sloughbit cleared his throat. '_It is with the utmost joy and affection that I address this letter to Your Majesties and I pray that Aslan forever holds you in his blessed paws. May good health and happiness be yours and Narnia's, and may your reign be long and prosperous. _Joy and affection? Don't he wish it was -'

'Your unsolicited opinion is duly noted,' King Peter interrupted impatiently. 'Read the letter.'

'Don't be blamin' me when we're all answering to Anvard,' wheezed Sloughbit under his breath as he found his spot. 'Mighty suspicious is all I say. Hmm._ It is on behalf of one of my kinsmen that I now respectfully and humbly crave the indulgence of Your Majesties. My wife's good brother-in-law, Peridan, son of Dan, descended of noble houses both from Narnia and Archenland, seeks permission to relocate his immediate household to his ancestral home in your kingdom._ Spy, like as not, probing for weaknesses in our defenses. Heads will roll and then where will we all be? Headless, I tell you. Why else would he want to move to a place as cold and damp as this? Unhealthy, I say, and the family is probably a front to hide his wicked intentions.'

King Peter stood up and moved to the edge of the dais. Sloughbit hastily tried to find his spot again, but the High King had had enough and he held out his hand.

'The letter, Chamberlain.'

Sloughbit approached the king. 'Now, King Peter, this Tran fellow might have poisoned the ink or the paper with something unknown that won't affect Marsh Wiggles. We're a powerful hard lot to do in -'

King Peter snatched the letters out of Sloughbit's hand and without looking behind him held them towards King Edmund. The younger king leaned forward and took the letters, shaking his head as he looked over them.

'Oh, now both worthy kings will be exposed to unknown pois-'

'I believe we have had _quite_ enough for today,' snapped King Peter. 'Dismissed.'

'The court?' wondered Sloughbit.

'_Everyone_,' King Peter replied icily, and his hint was clear even to me. Sloughbit was right after all – he hadn't been thanked, but I think he was happier for the lack because it gave him more to complain about.

King Edmund let out a groan that his siblings echoed with sighs as they met in the hall and tried to recover their spirits. 'This letter is a lot more promising than Sloughbit made it out to be.'

'We can read it over dinner.' Queen Susan put her arm around Queen Lucy. 'Well. I'll try again.'

Queen Lucy sniffed and smiled a little bit. 'Just don't take volunteers.'

'Ed and I will look, too.' King Peter sighed. 'Giles is never going on leave again.'

They all smiled back and I chuckled, glad to laugh at anything. I shut up when both kings glared my way.

I learned two important lessons that day, Mum: don't volunteer and if you want to keep your hair, steer clear of Meep when he gets excited. If I learned anything else I don't remember what it was. Bizzy looks tired – oh, no, he's _– she's_ - just laughing. I'm glad I cheered him – _her_ - up.

Love from your son,

Neville


	6. 20 Quickening, 1002

My thanks to Anastasia S. for allowing me to borrow Beryl, the boy-turned-unicorn, from her wonderful story _Secrets of Narnia: The Book of Myths and Legends. _

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

20 Quickening, 1002

Dear Mum,

It's Neville. Your son. Bizzy is feeling better and came down to the barracks to visit me and Meep. Meep isn't in trouble any more (he was set to clean the whole barracks by himself as punishment) but you wouldn't know by looking at him. He's still upset about cutting off the general's tail and I had to pin him with my jaws to keep him from cutting off his own tail because Mice think their tails are like our stripes and sources of pride and he felt bad having his whole tail when General Oreius only had half of his. He tasted terrible. Captain Kanell ordered him to stop being silly because the general's tail will grow back and Meep's wouldn't. I heard Captain Kanell tell Lieutenant Xati about it and she said King Edmund found the outcome of Meep's rescue mission very funny because the general was always telling him to get his hair cut. _- So now not only is my hair not safe around him, but my tail as well? Thank you for the warning. Now get on with the story!_

Rather than lose a day, the kings and queens decided to work into the evening and instead of the usual court, they invited people to see them in one of the smaller rooms. That way they solved a lot of minor problems until they were almost caught up with their duties. They did this because they were expecting an embassy from King Lune in two days and didn't want to appear as if they couldn't make do without a chamberlain.

The following day at court was . . ._ pungent_ is the word Merina used. I think that means very, very smelly because when we entered the throne room there was a terrible tang in the air that was so strong that I could taste it. It tasted worse than Meep. The kings and queens looked very confused and they couldn't help but cough at the stench.

Then King Edmund looked alarmed and King Peter looked to where his brother stared and then the queens, so I looked, too. In the spot where the chamberlain stood or hung or perched I saw a small, chubby, very hairy weasel with stubby legs that was all black with white stripes. She had a pink bow tied atop her head and she had bright brown eyes and for all her charming appearance, she smelled worse than Uncle Rory after he eats fish left in the sun for too many days_. – Please don't say anything more! _I must say, Mum, that she was the prettiest Skunk I've ever seen, and indoors she was very . . . pungent.

I saw King Peter swallow and compose himself as he guided Queen Lucy to her throne. As he passed his sisters, the High King gave them both very puzzled looks and they shook their heads. King Edmund raised both hands and said, 'Blameless!' when it was his turn for that inquiring glance. King Peter sat down, his face a perfect study in anxiety. He looked at the Skunk and coughed and said,

'Be welcome Lady . . .?'

"Ambergriet,' she replied with a bow, and her voice was very chirpy and musical. 'Your Majesties.'

King Edmund, who was closest to her, wheezed, 'Pray call forth the first order of business.'

'Business?' she wondered with a smile. 'Your pardon, my king, but what business?'

'On the list before you, Lady,' hinted Queen Lucy when King Edmund was too busy gagging at the smell to make reply. She was closest to the open windows.

Ambergriet looked at the paper, then up at the royal family, and she smiled. 'But I cannot read this!'

King Peter choked and managed to ask, 'How can you be the new chamberlain, then?'

The Skunk actually giggled. 'I am not the new chamberlain, Majesty! I am the new chamber maid! I think I have been directed wrongly by the nice Okapi!'

There was a wave of relief throughout the assembly. King Peter fell back in his throne and muttered 'Thank Aslan,' as King Edmund, his eyes watering, bolted out of the room to the hall behind and I could hear him gasping for fresh air. Queen Susan stood up and called for one of the servants to escort the new maid to meet the head of the palace staff. One of King Edmund's Satyr guards let out a sigh and relaxed his grip on his lance too far. It slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor behind Ambergriet. She bounced about a bit and let out a little 'Eeek!' and a moment later a cloud of stink rose up and Ambergriet cried, 'Oh! Your pardon!' at the poor Satyr that had just caught her smelly, oily, pungent wrath. _- Serves him right for scaring a Skunk!_

Now everyone was coughing and gasping and trying to to find fresh air. If the room had been on fire people could not have moved faster. I think everyone forgot all their disputes because everyone scattered and the throne room was almost empty in seconds. Queen Susan's eyes were tearing as she said, 'Court is dismissed!' as King Peter bravely took a deep breath and went to help the Satyr.

'Get someone in here to clean this up,' he ordered. 'And someone to clean up Kiran here. Su, Lu, go join Ed. I'll . . .' He broke down coughing, but the queens fled and I was happy to follow. The last thing I saw before I started crying was Ambergriet, looking very sweet in her stripes and bow, cooing up at the unhappy Satyr. I think she's the kind of girl it's hard to stay mad at. I'd like to meet her again, but outside and on a windy day with me standing upwind. I got to the hall and hung my head low and had a long laugh.

So! There was no court that day and the staff spent all day and all night and then all morning scrubbing the smell out of the throne room and the royal family. They were all very red the next day and smelled strongly of herbs and soap. You might want to tell Swoosie that they use soap for cleaning here at Cair Paravel, not for making the rocks by the river slick enough to slide on. And tell Otzo they don't eat it, either. _- No more abuses of soap, please, Neville!_

We were following Queen Susan and her family once again to the throne room where they were going to meet the Archenlanders later on. I was wondering what grown-up Humans looked like because I know our kings and queens are very young.

As we walked down the hall a whole pack of brightly-dressed, giggling nymphs (they _always_ giggle, Mum) passed by, all of them pausing to curtsy before they hurried on. King Peter stared, and as always he seemed confused. -_I suspect he's used to the feeling._

'Ed, were they wearing your old tunics?' he asked.

King Edmund glanced at the waving, happy, giggly mass of green- and blue-skinned nymphs. 'No, Peter, those were your tunics.'

'You gave them my _clothes_?'

King Edmund shrugged. 'It was harvest time and you certainly weren't using them.'

The High King gave up, and I swallowed a chuckle as Queen Lucy laughed. King Peter looked to Queen Susan. 'Did you find a chamberlain, Su?'

'Yee-es,' she said, and I felt my hackles rise a bit at her tone. She didn't sound very confident.

'Who is it?' demanded King Edmund.

'Um . . . a cousin of Flisk's,' she said.

I didn't find out until later that Flisk was the Unicorn that King Peter rode into battle. He was a mighty warrior, but it seemed his cousin wasn't nearly as impressive.

King Edmund stopped in his tracks so abruptly that King Peter almost ran him down. They untangled themselves and King Edmund begged,

'Not Travers?'

Queen Susan blushed and lifted her head. 'And if it is?'

King Peter groaned and held his head. 'Please not Travers.'

The throne room was extra clean and at first I thought the place had been washed with perfume. There was a very sweet smell in the air - as strong as Ambergriet, almost, and it was like overripe strawberries. It was also coming from the temporary chamberlain. _- You don't know Travers, do you?_

Now Unicorns are very pretty Beasts, but Travers seemed bent on out-prettying everyone. He was tall and snowy white and his bluish horn was brightly polished. His hooves were coated with gold and he was hung with chains and bright ribbons and there were sparklies on his tail and on his scruff - _that's his mane!_ - and little chains hung with bells around his ankles so he tinkled with every step. He moved all the time but he wasn't like Bitsie, who was always twitchy. He kept turning to look at his tail and to check his reflection in the polished shield of one of the guards standing close behind him. I don't know what he expected to happen, but he kept checking and his feet were very noisy. -_ Meet Travers, Neville._

The kings looked at each other and shook their heads as they took their seats and King Edmund immediately sneezed. I don't think his nose liked Travers' perfume. Queen Susan nodded at the Unicorn to begin.

'Ahem!' said Travers. He made a great show of tossing his scruff - _mane_ - and cleared his throat three or four more times, getting louder each time and tossing his hair about until more people were looking at him. He struck a handsome pose and made a horsey noise like a laugh and said grandly, 'My queens! My kings! I humbly beg your royal leave to announce the first visitor to your court here at Cair Paravel!'

'Please, Travers, proceed,' said Queen Lucy a little impatiently.

He bowed very low. Several of the ribbons in his scruff - _it's a MANE!_ - slid about and rather than get to business, Travers spent some time shifting and twitching until all his ribbons were back in place. He checked himself in the polished shield and even tried to see his teeth. Then he remembered what he was about and whispered to the court recorder, 'Is my mane straight?'

King Edmund looked at King Peter between sneezes and muttered, 'Spoken like a true son of Beryl.'

Minovin glared at the Unicorn and said between clenched teeth, 'Get thee to business, Chamberlain!'

He sniffed at her and arranged himself again. 'Presenting Chief of the Red Dwarf Clan Kellerbeam.'

The Red Dwarf - a jolly sort - was there to present some sketches of a port that was under construction somewhere north of the palace. I don't know what ports do, but this one seemed very nice. Travers left his place and stood in front of Kellerbeam to see the pictures, blocking the royal family's view.

'I like that one!'

'_Thank_ you, Travers,' snapped King Peter. 'Kellerbeam, pray leave the sketches with Minovin and we'll -'

'That one is just not as pretty as the first one,' said Travers, pointing to the next sketch with his horn. 'You should make it nicer.'

'Travers . . . '

I wheezed out a laugh. King Peter glared at me with that heavy glare of his. Kellerbeam handed over the sketches and escaped. Travers got back to work.

'Announcing Mrs. Maddy Ridgeback of the Shuddering Woo-' He stopped, for the first time noticing his reflection on the polished floor. 'Oh, my!' Travers cried. He jingled this way and that, staring at himself, and then looked at Minovin. 'Should I have had my tail braided instead?'

Queen Susan let out a long breath. King Edmund started sneezing so hard that he had to hold his crown in place so it didn't end up in his lap or on the floor. I felt a laugh start to well up inside me, the kind of laugh you just can't stop and lasts a long, long time. It wasn't the best thing to do but I couldn't help it. Travers was trying very hard to see the gewgaws on his tail and turned completely around, saying,

'Do these ribbons make me look fat?'

I laughed, trying hard not to make any noise but I sounded as if I was yipping and coughing at once. There was no other sound except for Travers' bells. One of Queen Lucy's ladies hurried over and whispered something to her. She passed the word to Queen Susan, who hissed to King Peter,

'The ambassador is early!'

King Peter's eyes grew wide and he stood up. He looked quite upset and furious as Travers kept moaning over what he should or shouldn't have worn.

'Travers!' he yelled.

The Unicorn was still, shocked that he was being yelled at.

'Your services as chamberlain are no longer required! Dismissed! _You there!_'

Travers huffed and stomped out, but no one paid any attention. Everyone turned to see who the High King was pointing and glaring at and looked at . . . me. I choked on my own laugh and wished I was too small to be seen. If glares could have weight I would have been crushed like a gooseberry.

'What is your name?' demanded King Peter.

I stood with my mouth hanging open and my ears far down and I couldn't say a thing. Just then Meep jabbed me with the tip of his sword and I jumped.

'N-Neville,' I squeaked, sounding like Meep. King Edmund sneezed mightily and I remembered to add, 'Your Majesty.'

'Neville,' said King Peter, trying out my name in a tone of voice I didn't like at all. 'You're neither shy nor silent! Over here!'

He pointed from me to the spot where the chamberlain stood.

'_Now_,' he hissed.

I didn't know what to do except obey, Mum. I slunk over. The throne room looked almost the same from the other side. -_It would be odd if it did not._

'The list is before you,' continued the High King urgently. 'You'll read the names and business off in a clear voice. You will not laugh, fall asleep, move about, or cause a disruption. Is that understood?'

I was too frightened to answer and I nodded fast and hard.

'Until Sir Giles returns, _you_ are hereby appointed Chamberlain of the Court.' He glanced at the doors. 'Now, announce the ambassador from Archenland.'

He sat down, waiting. I was very impressed that he had so much confidence in me and I found the ambassador's name on the list. It had been a frustrating time for the royal family and I did not want to add to it or get glared at again.The job seemed simple enough, so I found my voice and read loud enough for everyone to hear:

'Announcing His Royal Highness Prince Vanine, ambassador from the court of King Lune of Archenland, and his wife Princess Kel.'

I looked up. Meep and Merina both sighed. The ambassador and his wife stood in the door looking very pleased. The High King nodded in satisfaction and the queens smiled at me and at first King Edmund just sniffed but then he smiled a little bit before letting loose with one last sneeze. Queen Susan looked over at King Peter and said, 'You win,' which made her younger brother and sister smile wider and her older brother chuckle.

So, Mum, that's the story of how I got my second job here at Cair Paravel. It came as a shock to me and everyone else, too. I train in the morning and when Sir Giles isn't here I fill in as chamberlain in the afternoons. It's quite a bit of fun and I like working for all the kings and queens, not just Queen Susan (though she's very nice!) I suppose I'm a good chamberlain because I was the last one they appointed and I made certain to follow King Peter's orders carefully. I think you'd be proud of how I do both jobs. I like it here at Cair Paravel and I like the people and I've made lots of friends. I don't think you need to worry. - _Indeed, Mrs. Mum, Meep and I are looking after him._

Love your son,

Neville

P.S. I have a nickname now. Everyone calls me 'You There!'

P.P.S. Mum, Ambergriet told me that Bizzy isn't Bizzy but Bizmy.

P.P.P.S And he's a girl!

_- Finally!_


End file.
